I walked up to the cement picnic table in the middle of the small park by the railroad tracks. Men and women milled around all drawn by the spread of good hot food. I scanned the group, which consisted of friends from church and homeless men and women from Carlsbad. Like every Wednesday, I joined the food line, filled my plate with good grub and started talking to the people around me.
I was immediately drawn to a new comer who looked to be in her fifties. Her expression wasn't hardened or weathered like many of the women who have spent time on the streets. We begin to talk and she mentioned how excited she was about the home cooked food. Then she asked if I knew where to get a hot shower.
At that moment I realized two things, first she though I was homeless and second she was not just new to Fill-A-Belly (our homeless ministry) but new to the streets as well. I was honored by the realization that she assumed I was living on the streets. One of the goals of the ministry is to break down the walls that are so often erected between the homeless and mainstream society.
Through out the night I got to know Joanne and her husband Ronald (names changed). Their story had me fighting tears. Many of the homeless we work are there because of addictions or mental diseases. Joanne and Ronald were an average couple who hit a huge rough patch. Through no fault of their own they had lost the home they were staying in and Joanne had lost her job. Ronald still had a solid job but minimum wage doesn't come close to making ends meet in Southern California.
When I met them they had only been on the streets for four days. They were tired, cold and not in any way used to living that lifestyle. Despite the circumstances Joanne was full of hugs, thanks, and encouragement. Ronald was excited to talk about Tofu with us (we are big soy fans) and I learned all about soy farming in the U.S. Joanne and Ronald are intelligent, beautiful people.
The next day I begin to research shelters, sure that it would be possible to find them a place. Ha, not so easy! There were shelters that would take women, shelters that would take men and shelters that would take families with children. I talked to one caseworker who said that couples with out children are almost impossible to place in a shelter. Through my research I found plenty of animal shelters and it frustrated me to no end to see how easy it would be to place a stray pet, while finding shelter for people was almost impossible.
I wish I had a good update for this story – the week after I first met them Ronald came to Fill-A-Belly alone. They had saved up gotten a hotel room for the night because Joanne hadn't had a shower for almost two weeks. Ronald said that Joanne had insisted he come and at least say hi to us. We had a special Tofu dish just for him. He only stayed for a moment, Joanne had fallen into a major depression and he was nervous to leave her alone for too long. Hopefully I'll see them tomorrow. I'm praying for some good news, and continuing to look for practical ways to help. If anyone has ideas or means to help let me know!
"But those who wait on the Lord will renew their
strength.They will soar on wings
like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."Isaiah 40:31.
I'm down to one job, which after juggling and straining to
work two feels amazing.This is a
unique season for me, it's a time of waiting, God is preparing and getting me
ready for something but I have no idea what it is.Waiting is pretty much the hardest thing in the world for
me.I like control, direction, a
mission, a goal.Waiting doesn't
seem like enough of an objective, but in reality it's an important part of
preparation.The following poem,
comes out of that battle, to let go of my control and schedule, and embrace
waiting.
Staring at the blank page, the sense of unknown, I have no
idea what’s going to fill the white space.It’s a quiet Sunday morning, actually it’s officially afternoon
now.The neighbors haven’t woken up yet
so their loud voices have yet to penetrate the relative stillness.Flies buzz around, what I would give for a
screen door.I found my self complaining
about the flies last night, at a get together with friends.Then it hit me, I went from living in a tent
and sleeping on ant infested floors, to a beautiful town home and I’m now
complaining about not having a screen door, ouch!
Even after 8 months off the World Race, I still feel pulled
between two worlds.I desire so much and
can’t have it all at once.My heart
longs for mission and adventure, and at the same time I know this is a season
of mission here, and finding the calling in my own neighborhood.Sometimes I think that I understand what God
is up to, how he is working, but at the moment I’m just confused.
My mind wonders back to one of my favorite Fill-A-Belly
nights, it makes me miss Peter, Nick, Ryan and Eric, all away on military
commitments.As usual, Molly had cooked
up a great meal, which we portioned out and loaded into a back pack.We all circled up in the living room, grabbed
hands and spent some time praying for each other and for the homeless guys we
would come into contact with.
The walk along the ocean to downtown Carlsbad was beautiful.We all talked and laughed, and got to
know each other on a deeper level.Something about the sun setting, doing ministry with friends, and being
together in real community satisfied my heart.
Once in town, we searched the streets, looking for our
friends.In order to avoid loitering
charges they have to move every hour or two.Finally we saw them, exchanged hugs and passed out the meals.
I had seen Gary
(name changed) before but never spent time conversing with him.He had deep set brown eyes with grief lines
etching around them, but his smile when offered lit up his face.While digging into his biscuits and gravy Gary begin to talk, with
the thirst of a man who had not been heard in a very, very long time.
“You know, I haven’t been like this forever.I once had a home, we, had a beautiful
home.I owned a business as well, fixin’
people’s showers and stuff like that.It
was good then.We had it good before she
got sick.I took care of the business,
she took care the kids.They were hers
from a different marriage, but I loved them like my own.Then she got sick.”
“She was at the hospital, even there she was beautiful.I took the kids in to see her, but sometimes
they wouldn’t let the kids visit.So I
snuck them in, put them under the dining cart, they were mighty small and could
curl up and fit.She always got a kick
out of seeing the kids.”
“All our money went to hospital bills, I tried to keep
working but couldn’t keep up.Finally
they told me she was going to die.I
wanted it to be me.After she died
everything was a mess.I gave the house
to the kids, the business had gone bankrupt and so I left.”
“A few months later enough was enough, so I drunk an entire
bottle of bleach.Thought that would do
the trick.Instead I woke up in the
hospital with them telling me that I shouldn’t be alive but for some reason I
was.Figured something was keeping me
alive, so I stopped trying to end it.”
“Since then I’ve been wondering, living out here with these
guys.I’ve gotten my self some pretty
good set up’s, once I stayed near a dumpster where a carpet store threw out all
their old carpet.I got fresh carpeting
to sleep on every week, that was nice.”
“I know it sounds cliché but what I want more than anything
is a home, a place to put my head for more then one night.A real pillow.I want to stop hiding my stuff in trees
hoping it won’t get stolen.I had a
bottle of ketchup the other day, I hid it but some one came by and took
it.I heard that my daughter was trying
to get back in touch with me.I might
call her.I’m starting to work again,
maybe it’s time to rejoin society, but I don’t know if I can make it now.”
All too soon our conversation ended, the twilight had faded
into darkness, and the evening turned cooler.It was time to walk home.It was
hard to not be able to offer more then a warm meal and a listening ear.Despite that I believe that the act of truly
hearing one’s story is a gift of dignity.
The
last few weeks have flown by in a frenzy of soaking up every last second with
my group of friends.The chemistry and
community we shared was unstoppable.I
realized that at some point things were going to change, but what I didn’t know
was how soon…
It
started a few months ago. Molly (my sister) and I met Peter at a party. Then that next week he showed up at our house to help with Fill-A-Belly ministry night, where Molly, cooks up something amazingly good, and we deliver it to the homeless
in our neighborhood.Peter came and
brought his friend Nick.
(me with Ryan and Peter at the party.)
I
was hyper, jumping around the house, singing songs, letting the goofy side of
my self come out in full force.Normally
I save that for those I know won’t be scared off, but for some reason I felt
comfortable around the guys, and my guard never came up.From that first night our friendships took
off.
Soon
it was something every night.The guys
crashed on our floor more often then not.We all prayed together, played together, ate together, and did life as a
group.I felt like I was reliving the
community aspect of the World Race, which was nice.It was a gift to have uplifting, encouraging,
challenging friends.I loved coming home
to Peter’s sincere, “How was your day?”He listened for the answer every time, and asked questions as if the
mundane details were something to write home about.I enjoyed Nick’s genuine hugs and gentle head
pats.It made me so happy when they
started calling our house home, and our group of friends began to be referred
to as “the family.”
(Nick, Molly, Brittany, Debbie, Me and Peter)
The
first time I talked with Peter and Nick about war, they shattered the stereotype
I had of Marines.These guys had
painstakingly thought through what it meant to suffer and die, so that others
could live.They wrestled through what
it was to have a career that required them to kill or be killed.They faced the agony of fighting in a war
that they didn’t necessarily agree with.
From
the beginning, I knew that deployment was a possibility, but it seemed
distant.When Peter called to say that
they were leaving for Afghanistan,
I couldn’t hold back the tears.He tried
to assure me that most of the men they were sent to replace were only injured.I read the news, it told a different
story.Until that call, this whole war
didn’t seem real to me.I had read the
stories and watched the news, but I didn’t feel the effects.War looks different through the lens of my
friends being called to put their lives on the line.
(Peter, Aaron and Nick, leaving today)
Last
night we had our final hurrah, and today, we said our goodbyes, hopefully for
the next 4 months.It’s been a rough
day, one with tons of emotions.I know
one thing; I’ll no longer neglect to pray for our troops.Thanks for praying for Peter and Nick, and
the other guys on their team.
(On a San Diego Harbor Cruise last night. The Family, from left to right,
Debbie, Eric, Bobby, Molly, Peter, Brittany, Me, Noelle and Nick.)
I haven't been blogging much because, for the most part, life has been routine. It
was stuck in my head that no one would care about reading my blog after the
World Race. I feared boring people with
the mundane, but one thing I'm learning is that often God shines strongest in
the simple everyday graces. So, I've
decided to start blogging again, telling the stories of the people God brings
into my life and the stories of what God is doing.
I'm overwhelmed coming back from Guatemala, it seems like there is
so much to do and not enough time. I
don't even know where to start with priorities.
I just realized a bunch of nights next week are double and triple booked. At the moment I'm wondering how this happened
and how I've managed to put this many things on my plate, and if it's possible
to take some things off. I feel the
tension between my eyes, and the foggy tiredness of readjusting in my
head.
Despite the semi rough landing God has been amazing lately
and I'm excited to share. Guatemala was
beautiful, an adventure, fun, and meaningful.
I loved staying with Mike, Nancy
and Amber, observing how their family does ministry together and how they host
teams. They have an amazing gift of
hospitality, which I've learned a lot from!
There is something beautiful that happens when traveling; my
current reality fades and suddenly I'm given a renewed ability to dream. The block is gone and instead of thinking
about how I'm going to pay rent or get through the next crazy day, I'm dreaming
about homeless ministry in Carlsbad and using
what I've learned in trauma counseling to reach women who have been ensnared by
the sex trade in Thailand.
It's way too easy for me to get caught up in going through
the motions, especially when I'm here in the U.S. When I come back after being overseas, I feel
the current of comfort, materialism and apathy threatening to take me under. On returning, there is temptation to settle
into the status quo, start working like crazy, and numb out with the T.V. or
what ever else is convenient. But I keep
praying that God will help me to live in this culture with out being swept away
by those currents.
God has used this time in Guatemala to remind me of His
calling on my life. To get me away from
my own self imposed structure, rules and guidelines. I'm excited to share the stories of the
people I've met with you, both in Guatemala,
and here in San Diego,
so keep checking in, more is on the way…
For the last week, Molly and I have been in Guatemala, staying with the Watkins family (Mike, Nancy and their daughter Amber) who I met last year while our team traveled through Antigua. Here are some snap shots, highlights of the journey! It's been wonderful to be on an adventure, and I've really enjoyed seeing the Watkins again. They are from Florida but have been living and doing ministry in Antigua for the last two years.
A few city pictures from Antigua. I love how colorful everything is!
One morning Molly and I hiked up to La Cruz which provides an amazing overlook of the city. We had a refreshing, powerful prayer time. It was crazy to think back to just a year before when my teammates and I raced up to the same spot during the Guatemala leg of the World Race.
One of the things I didn't get to do last year was visit Tikal which is a huge area filled with acient Mayan ruins. Molly and I decided that it would be worth going so we rode an all night bus up to Flores, spent the day climbing the acient skyscrapers, then caught an all night bus back to Antigua. We were tired after returning, but decided it was worth a quick trip because we had a volcano the hike the next day...
Molly and me with our friend Julio on the top of the temple that's seen in Star Wars.
Matt, the Watkins son leads camping and backpacking trips up Pacaya an active volcano. We had the incredable opportunity to climb the mountain, camp on the top, and then explore the lava at night. It was erie seeing the lava flow in the dark and the clouds reflect bright red. We roasted marshmallows and made smores over hot spots!
View during the hike!!!
Our camping group, we had way too much fun! From right to left, me, Teresa, Sara, Matt, Ale, and Molly. Check out Sara and Teresa's blog for the hiking story...http://megustaguatemala.com/
After all the adventure we spent a day painting a future meeting room in the church Del Camino, which Mike Watkins (our host) pastors. This is us attempting to look like models while the fan blows our hair. We tried to paint over the blue, which sounds easy, but is almost impossible!
After a day of painting Matt took us to a waterfall near town, we had fun getting muddy and climbing up the sides of the falls.
I came across this article today in Wrecked for the Ordinary, www.wreckedfortheordinary.com, about child labor, and it seems to fit with some of the questions I was asking in Cambodia last year...
Here's my question... What can be done? What are some creative ways to combat this? It really bothers me that Gap is marketing this whole Red campaign that is supposed to be helping people and at the same time they are enslaving thousands of children. Seriously I would love to hear what you all think about this and any ideas that you have!
Fair Trade and Ethical Buying within the Clothing Industry
by Francisco Donoso
Part One
In
the late 1980' s to the early 1990's and up until today, people are once again
becoming less interested in fitting a specific social category where one is
judged according to what he/she wears and becoming more interested in the world
around them similar to the 19th century.
There has been an uprising in the fair
trade and ethical buying of clothes amongst the general population and an
increasing interest to seek justice and peace within the past 20 years that has
led people to appropriate their ideas of social justice into the world of
fashion, and focus more on their personal beliefs, their works and how they
affect their environments as a means to identifying themselves.
This
new "social consciousness" of the West, specifically in the United States,
brought about the Fair Trade and Ethical Buying movement of our day. What began
as a small reaction to the over consumptive West by various underground
organizations and the Christian church is now being appropriated into
mainstream fashion trends and even into the high-end fashion industry.
Fair
Trade, as defined by the Fair Trade Federation, means an equitable and
fair
partnership between marketers in North America and producers in Asia,
Africa, Latin America and other parts of the world. A fair trade
partnership works to provide low- income artisans and farmers with a
living
wage for their work, enabling them to cover basic needs, including
food,
shelter, education and health care for their families.
Ethical Buying simply
means the consumer is making an ethical decision when he/she purchases an item
such as food, clothing, furniture, etc. It is the consumers' responsibility to
ensure that the item was produced and traded fairly so as to condemn human
rights abuses. Third party certifiers who label products that meet Fair Trade
standards such as guaranteed minimum pricing, environmentally sustainable
production practices, and safe, non-exploitative working conditions regulate
the Fair Trade system.
There
have been many reports describing the awful realities of the unethical
treatment of workers by numerous popular corporations and businesses like
Wal-Mart, Adidas, Starbucks, Gap and Nike. Over the last 20 years, or so, transnational
corporations (TNC's) have been taking advantage of lower trade barriers and low
transportation/communication costs in order to relocate production to poor
countries in the global south, of which children unfortunately are the
disposable pawns. Many TNC's source from factories where there is forced labor,
the firing, beating, blacklisting, torture and killings of unionists, physical,
psychological and sexual abuse of workers, discrimination against women, and
exposure to dangerous, unhealthy work.
It has been reported that in Thailand,
workers producing children's clothing for Nike, Levi Strauss and Adidas
recently reported having to work up to 110 hours per week. Managers made them
swallow "speed" so they could work up to 48 hours straight before collapsing.
In other cases, there are reports of workers injected with contraceptive drugs
and employers pressuring pregnant workers to have abortions. The worst problem,
however, for most workers is that their wages don't meet basic needs. In China, Vietnam,
Indonesia
and other countries base wages range from 20 to 30 cents a day.
Nike
and The Gap are amongst many of the businesses that have fallen under the
temptation of sweatshop labor. Nike is currently the largest manufacturer of
athletic supplies in the world. In June of 1996, Bob Herbert, a New York Times
columnist, criticized Nike labor conditions within a harsh open-ended piece.
The accusations alleged that Nike built its wealth and products with the
"slave" labor of young Asian women. The accounts described human
rights abuses, violence to laborers, and hideous working conditions within
Nike's Asian facilities.
Over 40 demonstrations occurred at nationwide
Niketowns, resulting in the arrests of 19 demonstrators. Nike's image was
stained and it was pressured to respond, so they created a PR campaign claiming
that its factory conditions were equitable and its laborers were fairly
treated. The company was sued in April of 1998 for its false advertisement and
lost millions of dollars, helping a standard for other Fortune 500 companies to
adhere to.
It
is to no surprise that Gap Inc. was once again discovered using child labor to
produce their clothing. Dan McDougall of the British newspaper
The Observer, published his
investigation of the popular TNC: Gap Inc. in October of 2007. His
investigation revealed children between the ages of 10 and 13 hand stitching
Gap garments for no pay, and living under horrid conditions. The children were
bought from their parents and transported by train to underground factories in New Delhi, India,
where the children work from dawn to am hours non-stop with no salary.
Not only
are the children deprived of education, health care, and proper nurturing, but
they are now also slaves to the over consumptive
West. Gap has huge
contracts in India,
which boasts one of the world's fastest-growing economies. According to the UN,
child labor contributes an estimated 20 per cent of India's gross national product with
55 million children ages 5 to 14 employed as factory workers. "Gap may be
one of the best-known fashion brands with a public commitment to social
responsibility, but the employment of bonded child slaves as young as 10 in
India's illegal sweatshops tells a different story," says Bhuwan Ribhu, a
Delhi lawyer and activist for the Global March Against Child Labor.
To be continued...
Francisco
is currently studying Visual Arts and Anthropology at the State
University of New York at Purchase College. He is passionate about
compassion and service to the poor, and plans on disappearing somewhere
in India after he graduates college to live amongst the "least of
these."
I'm alone, sitting on my cushy couch, in my decorated living
room, staring out at the Pacific Ocean. Materially my life couldn't be further from
where I was a year ago. I daily ask how
I can live with all this and at the same time do justice to what I experienced
around the world. A year ago today I was
in Peru,
living with 20 people in about 1,000 square feet, crammed in like sardines. Now my sister and I share a place that's much
more spacious and it's only the two of us.
My first couple months after returning to America were rough, to put it
gently. I still often feel the remnants of
post World Race grief. Sometimes an
intense longing to be back overseas washes over me. The desire is a deep ache that travels
through my body, from a twinge in my stomach, to tightness in my throat, to
tears in my eyes.
What I've realized lately is that it doesn't matter where I
live or how much I have. What matters is
how I use it. I'm relating to what Paul
wrote in Philippians 3:11b-14, "…I have learned how to be content with whatever
I have. I know how to live on almost
nothing or with everything. I have
learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full
stomach or empty, with plenty or little.
For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength."
It's been a challenge learning to be content with life here,
and trusting that God is using my life to make a difference, even when it
doesn't feel that way. I'm learning to
celebrate what's been given to me, and be thankful for the stage of life that
I'm in. Life is truly a gift.
The last two months have flown by in a frenzy of moving,
starting two jobs and learning how to balance life in the United States. I work at North Coast Calvary Chapel doing
administrative work for their junior high group. I'm thankful to work with great people!
I also work for the Wildfire Recovery Program doing trauma
counseling and community outreach work for people who have lost their homes in
the fires. While working with the Nsoko
project in Swaziland
I realized how much I love community development work.
It's so amazing to be able to do that same type of work here, and actually get
paid for it =). I'm in the process of starting
a Wildfire Teen Council, which is volunteer program for youth who have a desire
to help with community rebuilding. It's
pretty amazing to be involved with something that combines two of my favorite
things youth and missions.
As always, your comments are greatly appreciated, I would
love to hear where life has brought you!
Hey Friends! It's been awhile. I'm in the middle of a personal update, which will be posted soon, but saw this on Seth Barnes (the founder of Adventures in Missions) blog and had to share it with you.
My teammates and I spent last July starting up the Nsoko care point project in Swaziland. It's amazing to see what God has done there during the last 9 months! Check out the "read the story" link below to see where things in Nsoko started from!
Also, check out this article I wrote about Swaziland that was in the e-zine, Wrecked for the Ordinary....
It was a good day for orphans yesterday, at least in my world.
We
had found 95 orphans in the Swaziland dirt last summer with no one to
look after them. We felt God saying, "Take care of them." You can read the story
of how we started on Morgan's blog. And God took our efforts and
multiplied them. Here's a video of the inauguration of our first center
for these orphans. You can see my partners in crime, Gary Black and
Andrew Shearman in all their glory.
[Incidentally,
if any of you are interested in traveling to see and work on this
project June 18-25 with Gary and I and our wives, please get in touch
with me. We're conducting a vision trip there. Go to Lisa's blog to see more about it.]
And over in Pakistan, you remember last month I shared
about the plight of six orphans in Pakistan that Emmanuel, a pastor
friend of mine, had asked help for. I threw it out there and a bunch of
you said that you'd help. Well, we sent the money yesterday and today
those six kids will have big smiles on their faces! Thanks so much for
caring. Thank you for practicing what the Bible calls "true religion" -
helping orphans in their distress. I hope to pass along an update from
them in the future.
The other night after young adults group, I was talking to some old friends, who I hadn't seen since before the trip. They asked what I was up to and where I was living. Simple questions but, I had trouble thinking of a good response. So instead of my usual answer where I launch into a ten minute speech justifying why my life isn't moving ahead at lightning speed, I told the truth.
"I'm homeless and jobless." Before those words escaped my mouth, I thought saying them would give me a sense of shame, but the raw honesty was actually exhilarating. Since being back in the U.S. nothing has worked out the way I envisioned it, my plans were to have a home and a job all by January 1st. Instead, through no fault of our own, the place that Molly and I were all ready to rent fell though, and my job search is taking longer than I had originally envisioned.
(In New Mexico, riding on a 4 wheeler with, Stacey)
Despite my plans being wrecked, I'm actually learning to enjoy this time in my life. Many of my previous roles like, youth director or World Race team leader, which I used to base my identity on, have been stripped away. Before, when people asked questions about what I do, where I live, etc. I always had the right response, now I don't have any answers.
All my life it's been easier for me to focus on what I do, not who I am. Doing is such a huge part of our society. I love what Seth Barnes, the founder of Adventures in Missions, wrote in his blog about identity vs. role.
"What I've discovered is that most people would rather focus on their role first (thus creating a "false self"). But a disciple of Jesus must get clear about his or her identity first or their perception of their role will intrude on their understanding of their identity. You are not a fireman or a stockbroker, a mom, or a husband. These are roles you may fulfill; things you occasionally do with your time.
If you're a follower of Christ, 2 Cor. 5:17 teaches you're "a new creation." You've got a new identity as a citizen of his kingdom. So, an essential part of following him is understanding that identity." ( www.sethbarnes.com)
(Emilie and me in New Mexico this weekend, trying to act mean)
What I've realized through this struggle is that who I am in Christ is unchanging; no matter what I'm doing. Lately God wakes me up every morning, asks me to spend time with Him, and then gives me one simple command, "Love the people I put in your path today." Sounds easy, but for someone like me who likes structure; it's harder than it seems.
I know that eventually things will come together. At the moment I'm enjoying a long weekend with some World Racers in New Mexico. Soon I'll have a job again, Molly and I will finally move into our place, and life will rush on. I'm learning to be thankful for this intermission. I'm grateful that God is not letting me forget what I've learned last year, even if it means wrecking my plans!
(Emilie, me, Molly and Adam at Sea World last week.)
(Touching a dolphin at Sea World, check out the cool NightLight bracelet)